Blogging Again.

Over the years, I have written many blogs. Blogs about boyfriends, husbands, lovers, and friends. Blogs about food, clothes, TV shows, and marketing. You name it, I probably have written about it. Why?

I’ve just always loved writing. But, I have never, not once, stuck with it. From 1999 to 2010, I blogged every day. I started on Livejournal and eventually moved to Blogger.

My blog was always a safe place for me. In my first marriage, my husband and his family did not care that I blogged, they didn’t really understand it. If they read it, they never mentioned what they read to me. So, I always felt comfortable sharing whatever I wanted to with whoever was reading.

After we divorced, I started a new relationship which meant new people were brought into my life, and natural curiosity meant, new readers.

Unfortunately, in the early 2010s, my relationship was in a rocky place. I did not know if we would make it and at times, I blogged openly about my feelings. I learned that my blogs were raising questions with friends and family which made me feel as if I had to muzzle myself even though what I was writing was not at all controversial. I stopped blogging shortly after that and our relationship survived.

Blogging never felt the same after that. I would read bloggers who were openly sharing their life online and while sometimes I thought they went too far, I was jealous of their freedom. I often think of a quote I stumbled around this time…

“When a writer is born into a family, the family is finished.” wrote the Polish Nobel laureate Czeslaw Milosz

I am not a professional writer. I do not want to share family secrets or tell personal stories, especially those that do not belong to me. I just want to share my own and feel less isolated in this world. That is what blogging was always about for me.

As a young mother, I felt alone more often than I felt connected. And blogging gave me a sense of community, even if everyone that I connected with lived far away. I have missed it and several times over the years, I tried to reconnect with it but something always stood in the way.

I am ready to try again. I hope to be as committed as I once was and to share my stories without fear.

We shall see though.